I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize