I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
