bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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