we have pet lesbian snakes
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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