This is the prime rib incident all over again
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you have feelings for this penis?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
