thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
