3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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