do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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