hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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