if you like me you must not know who I am
youre lurking in front of me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize