now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
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I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So here I am, sexting at work.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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