Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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