just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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