Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
