singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
