I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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