you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
