even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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