My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
