Welp...herpes.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
