I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
