You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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