Got a toothbrush?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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