Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I love you.
Bad choice
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
