my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
