is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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