Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
