how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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