The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
