Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
