i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
