I must be too annoying 4 u.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
