I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
