I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
