I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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