we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
