"it" just moved
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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