The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
