I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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