You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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