If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
