she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
