So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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