When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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