my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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