haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
