areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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