"it" just moved
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
