my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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