so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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