1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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