If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize