capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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