hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
