my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
