Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You can't just leave with hair like that
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
