walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
