so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
