I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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