I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I don't think brook has ever known best
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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