fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Panties = found
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
