my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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