He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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